Published: September 15, 2008 12:17 pm            

The protocol of hugging

Actor Dustin Hoffman, when asked what’s the best thing about being a celebrity? “I can pick my nose in public.” Politicians differ; each word and gesture will be critiqued.

U.S. Sen. John McCain comes on stage to congratulate running mate Sarah Palin — perhaps first the handshake, then a hug. Then, a peck on the cheek of wife Cindy.

A quarter century ago, 1984, candidate Walter Mondale seldom touched running mate Geraldine Ferraro — he did not even put his palm on Ferrarro’s back when the two stood waving side by side. That was a political Victorian age — today, it’s hugs and kisses.

The second mixed-sex major-party presidential ticket in American history has raised questions about etiquette, body language, huggers, and huggees. One not-so-simple rule: hug the running mate, kiss the wife. Webster’s says hug is to press tightly, to hold fast. Hayakawa says “hug” emphasizes one possibility in caress, but more informal. The wifely buss must be lips-to-cheek, not lips-to-lips, ala Al Gore to wife Tipper in 2000.

Etiquette experts of protocol must be consulted; of the people on stage, Who’s the first hugger of whom, then does the first huggee in turn hug the third party? Then does the third party hug the first party? Or is it just a peck on the cheek?

McCain’s closest adviser insisted there has been no-behind-the scenes direction, nobody said, “Cindy first. They’re going to behave like normal human beings, nobody said, just shake hands and then hug.”

Comfort level seems a major factor in hugging protocol. On the first appearance of Sens. Clinton and Obama, he placed his hand on Clinton’s shoulder but held back from a full hug. When the two stood for the classic side-by-side wave, Obama’s hand was squarely on Clinton’s back.

But what’s the definition of “a normal human being?” So etiquette experts will have their say. Jacqueline Kennedy’s social secretary; “He’s hugging to show approval and protection, but she doesn’t need that. All this fake hugging as when TV people greet is embarrassing.” The founder of a business training firm said, “It’s a form of professional endearment, getting closer than arm’s length shows respect, comfort and professional bonding.”

A novelist and satirist of ways of Washington says hugger and huggee need always to keep some chaste space between. “As the nuns used to say before school dances, ‘Leave room for the Holy Ghost.’”

Have you correctly hugged your favorite huggee, lately? Or is a firm eye-to-eye handshake sufficient?

Cecil Acuff is a Perkins resident.

        

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